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Hi.  My name is Annie.  I am a compulsive overeater.

Trying to get back to my 12-step workbook.  Weight loss surgery is looking more and more likely for me all the time.  Still, I know that it won’t solve my problems.  It is a tool to help me lose weight, but if I don’t get the bottom of my eating disorder, if I don’t figure out what makes me eat and what foods are the biggest problem for me, I will be wasting my time and the surgeon’s time, not to mention the insurance company’s money!  I can tell you one thing: I DO NOT want to go through surgery just to be this big again in a few years.

Today’s question is not a hard one for me to answer: “Have I returned to my former compulsive overeating behavior after years in recovery?”  I can honestly answer NO to this one.

I have not returned after years in recovery because I have not enjoyed years in recovery.  I have barely enjoyed days in recovery.  In fact, I am not at a point yet to think in terms of days.

 In my meeting this week, we talked a little about the concept of “one day at a time.”  Where I am right now, though, it is more like one minute at a time.  In this particular minute, I will not overeat.  Then when I conquer this one, I will move on to the next one.  And then the next.  And then the next.

And before I know it, I will get through an hour without overeating.  Once I get through that first hour, I will add another.  Only after I get the hang of being in recovery for a series of hours will I think about days in recovery.

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About madfatlady

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I remember. It has now ballooned to over 400 pounds. I don't like that. At the same time, I don't know what to do about it. I am mad at myself about this weight gain. I am mad at the world for allowing the fod to be so readily available and relatively inexpensive, while diet and exercise programs are so costly.

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