I am Annie and I am a compulsive overeater.
How has and does this malady affect my life not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well?
Ok, so the physical part is easy. This malady has caused me to balloon up to 440 pounds. I am not proud of it, but that is what I weighed the last time I was at my doctor’s office. It has also led to high blood pressure, asthma, acid reflux, aching joints, sleep apnea, and a heart condition.
Emotionally, oh boy! I have had issues with depression and anxiety since I was a teen. I get depressed, I eat. I feel anxious, I eat. So I honestly don’t know if the emotional issues are from the eating disorder or if the eating disorder stems from the emotional issues. I know that the physical aspect of the illness has led me to feeling worse, emotionally. I look at myself and wonder how anyone could possibly care about such a fat cow. My low self-esteem was in place long before I realized I had a “problem” with food. There are just so many things that are going on of me. I don’t know what was caused by what.
Spiritually…. Wow. I am not sure about that. A part of me thinks, “I am the way God made me. If He didn’t want me to be like this, He would change things.” But that seems so silly. I don’t know.