Reflections on Step One

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Hi. My name is Annie. I am a compulsive overeater.

And I apologize for not keeping up with this blog better. Funny how I can have the best intentions and still can’t do what I want. Sometimes life just happens. I am not going into all of the things that have “just happened” recently. The good news is that I have finished my First Step.

I am a compulsive overeater and my life has DEFINITELY become unmanageable. I am powerless over food. I do not have a “normal” reaction to it. I think the best way to put it is one bite is too many and a million bites are not enough. Can’t remember where I heard that, but it is so right. If I take one little bite, I will want more. And if I take a million bites, I will still not have eaten enough to quiet the hungry monster inside of me. I am a wife, mother, writer, church volunteer, friend, and daughter. There are plenty of things in my life that I can focus my attention on. Only problem is it is the food that demands the most attention from me. If you have more than one child, you know that it is the child who is the loudest and most demanding who gets the most attention. That is what food is like. Of all of these things in my life that I need to do, eating screams at me the loudest. And I just don’t know how to make the food quieter.

Working the steps of this program will help me learn how to ignore the food. At least that is my hope. It is my prayer. I cannot do this alone. There is no way I can possibly beat this addiction or learn how to live with it in a sane manner without some help. God is the one who can help me. I know this. That should make Step Two rather easy for me. I have already admitted that it will be by the grace of God alone that I can someday say, “I am Annie and I am a recovering compulsive overeater.”

I will get there. I will. I know it. Deep in my heart, I know that I can not only enter recovery but live a long life in recovery.

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About madfatlady

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I remember. It has now ballooned to over 400 pounds. I don't like that. At the same time, I don't know what to do about it. I am mad at myself about this weight gain. I am mad at the world for allowing the fod to be so readily available and relatively inexpensive, while diet and exercise programs are so costly.

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