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My name is Annie and I am a compulsive overeater.

I like to listen to Christian radio. My favorite station is Smile FM (you can listen online at www.smile.fm if you want to!). About a week ago, I turned on the radio just as a song by Mandisa ended. The DJ said something about what an inspiration Mandisa is to her. She talked about how Mandisa has been very open about her struggle with weight issues and her addiction to food, and about the book that Mandisa wrote about her struggles. Of course I came right home, looked up the book on Amazon.com, and ordered a copy for myself.

Along with it, I ordered a couple of other books for overcoming food addiction. The books I bought are The Emotional Eater’s Book of Inspiration, Food Addiction Healing Day by Day, and From the First Bite: A Complete Guide to Recovery From Food Addiction. Two of the books Food Addiction Healing and From the First Bite, were written by Kay Sheppard, a woman who has had her own struggles with food addiction. From what I understand, she discovered “a 12-step program for food addicts” in 1977, ten years after she went through a similar program for alcohol addiction. In the book, she does not (at least not up to the point that I have read so far) specifically name the program, but I am pretty sure she is talking about OA. Actually, in the beginning of the book she lists the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Kinda makes it easy to guess what food program she used!

In between the things I have to do for my family and my job, I’ve been trying to read these books. I swear, I need to get a handle on this. Now that it looks like my weight loss will happen in the very near future (like possibly before the end of May), I am totally devoting myself to a healthier life. No matter what surgery I have, if I don’t get my eating under control I will never, ever be at a healthy weight. All I will do is get right back up to the completely unhealthy weight I am at now. Only that will be even more dangerous because of the permanent changes I am making to my body.

Someone mentioned to me recently that thinking I could “beat” this addiction will only get me into trouble. So I guess what I want to learn to do is live with the addiction, without feeding it. For the rest of my life I will have an addiction to food. But if I can make it through today without indulging in the addiction, that will be a victory. And then once a make it through today, all I have to do is make it through tomorrow. One day at a time and I will make the progress I need in order to live a long, healthy life.

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About madfatlady

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I remember. It has now ballooned to over 400 pounds. I don't like that. At the same time, I don't know what to do about it. I am mad at myself about this weight gain. I am mad at the world for allowing the fod to be so readily available and relatively inexpensive, while diet and exercise programs are so costly.

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