Blame Responsibly


My name is Annie and I am a compulsive overeater.

And today I am in a bit of an argumentative mood!

Can’t say that I woke up that way. No, I was actually in a pretty decent mood when I got up this morning. It wasn’t until I started reading today’s bit of wisdom in the Emotional Eater’s Book of Inspiration that I got into a fighting mood. Here is the particular sentence I read that made my blood boil: You are not to blame for your weight problem.

Well then, who is?

Should I blame Ben and Jerry for making all of those delicious ice cream flavors?

Or maybe Sara Lee and Little Debbie for making so many varieties of snack cakes?

Or perhaps the blame goes to Wendy, Ronald McDonald, The Dairy Queen and The Burger King for making it so easy to get unhealthy food without even leaving my car?

No, they didn’t do it. They are not the reason I have a weight problem. How can I blame them for finding a way to continue making money in such a tough economy? Just because they make it doesn’t mean I have to eat it. They haven’t forced me to hand over my money or take that first bite. They haven’t forced me to continue eating long after I was full. Nope, that is all on me.

So how can anyone say that I am not to blame for all of this extra weight?

This particular reading was very confusing to me. It started with that sentence above and ended with, “take responsibility and watch your life change.” But how am I really taking responsibility for anything if I refuse to realize that I am to blame for the choices that led to this extra weight?

Now, I can understand not dwelling on my guilt. That is just going to make me want to eat more. But to deny that I am the cause of the weight? That doesn’t make sense.

Yes, I realize that I have a disease. I realize that it is moments when the disease is at its worst that I eat more than I need to. But that’s not an excuse. By not getting help, by not following the 12 steps as I should, I allowed the disease to gain the upper hand. If my addiction was to alcohol and I caused the death of another person by driving while drinking, would I get out of trouble by saying, “I am not to blame for this; it is the disease that did it?” No way! And I just don’t think that that I can ever take responsibility for my actions if I don’t accept the blame for my weight problem.


About madfatlady

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I remember. It has now ballooned to over 400 pounds. I don't like that. At the same time, I don't know what to do about it. I am mad at myself about this weight gain. I am mad at the world for allowing the fod to be so readily available and relatively inexpensive, while diet and exercise programs are so costly.

One response »

  1. I always say, “It was my choice to not eat my dinner, but it was not my choice to be anorexic.” I toggle with it too. Countless counselors saying it wasn’t my fault and that I have no control over it. Well, yes and no. I have no control over the anorexia (if I did, I wouldn’t have it, nor would I have relapsed), but I do have control whether or not I do something about it. I take full responsibility for my current and past actions, but as a whole, I figure I’ll be dealing with this the rest of my life. But I still have choice in the matter, and whatever I choose is all on me.

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