My name is Annie and I am a compulsive overeater.
I have been really obsessed with food thoughts lately. My stomach hasn’t healed enough for me to eat “real” foods. I am on the pureed stage of my diet right now. Still, I can’t seem to stop thinking about food. To help combat that, I took what I think is a pretty big step—I asked someone to be my OA sponsor.
Here is what the OA website (www.oa.org), has to stay about sponsorship:
Sponsors are OA members who are living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. They are willing to share their recovery with other members of the Fellowship and are committed to abstinence.
We ask a sponsor to help us through our program of recovery on all three levels: physical, emotional and spiritual. By working with other members of OA and sharing their experience, strength and hope, sponsors continually renew and reaffirm their own recovery. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their own experience.
Ours is a program of attraction; find a sponsor who has what you want and ask that person how he or she is achieving it. A member may work with more than one sponsor and may change sponsors. However, many of us choose to work with just one sponsor. In either case, it’s helpful to avoid changing sponsors frequently.
There is one particular woman who, though I know she still struggles with some aspects of her disease, has what I want. She has a peace about her disease and an attitude of “I might have an eating disorder, but the eating disorder does NOT have me.” She is someone I have called on in the past for help and advice. I feel very honored to be able to walk along this journey of recovery with her.
Before agreeing to be my sponsor, she asked me what I want in a sponsor. I haven’t gotten back to her on that yet. I’ve had to think a lot about that. What do I want in a sponsor?
What I want is someone to hold me accountable for my actions. I want to share what I plan to eat each day and what I have actually eaten. I want to share the triumphs I am having with my exercise plan. Most of all, I think what I want is someone to kick me in the butt when I face a step that I don’t want to take! I am still working diligently on Step Three, not because I am having problems with it but because Step Four really scares me. I want a sponsor who understands that I am scared but pushes me forward anyway!