My name is Annie. I am a compulsive overeater.
Big change in my life this week—the kids started back to school. I must admit, I am much more excited about it than I am. Don’t get me wrong—I love being with my sons. I just think it was time for them to be in separate places. They were starting to fight way too much. They are in second and fourth grade this year. The way they carry on while getting ready for school you’d think I was sending them off on a prison bus each morning! My youngest is three, which means this is the last year he will be home with me all day. Preschool starts for him next fall. That is kind of hard to wrap my brain around. I am a stay at home mom with only one year left of staying home with my babies….
Yesterday, Little Man and I needed to do some work at our church. OK, so I had to do the work and he just had to tag along! Still, we had to go over there. On the way, he asked if we could stop at McDonald’s. I agreed, since I had not yet had my breakfast, and a hot hazelnut latte sound very good on a chilly fall morning. There is a large local park between the restaurant and the church. My BFF Betsey and I have walked the 1.3 mile walking track there in the past. She walks it quite regularly. I walk it when I feel like getting out of bed early enough to meet her. As we drove past it yesterday, I told Little Man that I just might need to put his stroller in the car so we can stop and walk there every morning, with or without Betsey. He asked why, and I said because I need to walk more to get healthy. Little Man said I can’t do that. “She be mad if you go alone, Mommy,” he said.
As sweet as it is for my guy to worry about Betsey’s feelings, I know that she won’t mind if I walk without her. In fact, she would probably be proud of me for taking the initiative and exercising on my own.
Even if—for some odd reason—Betsey did get upset that I was going alone, I can’t let her feelings interfere with what I know I need to do. I need to get into better shape. Blob-shaped just isn’t cutting it. Besides, there is this goal that I have set for myself, and I realized I have only one year to accomplish it.
A couple of years ago, I decided that I need to walk across the Mackinac Bridge, a five-mile suspension bridge that connects the two peninsulas of Michigan. For some reason, I said I would do it the year that I turn 35. I will be 35 in February. (Is that really possible? Thirty-five already??) There is only one day each year when people are allowed to walk across the bridge—Labor Day. That means I have just a few days short of a year to be able to walk 5 miles without stopping.
I don’t like heights. I don’t like water. Yeah, walking this bridge might not be the smartest decision that I ever made! A woman I know once told me a goal doesn’t make sense if it doesn’t’ hurt at least a little. So….
I’ve told Betsey that I fully expect to get to Mackinaw City and chicken out. Something tells me that looking at the bridge will fill me with such fright that I won’t be able to even take the first step. But I want to be able to walk it. Even if I am too scared to actually step foot on the bridge, I want to know that I can handle walking five miles without a break.
And that is not something I can do right now.